Reply to David Still's email
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Subject: Re: by the way
Nope. If there were such a thing as burnt llama saliva, I'd rather eat it than those things.

From: "David Still" <>
> oh, there's something i forgot to tell you...MY MOM'S BROWNIES ARE DELICIOUS! you got me man?
e Nathan Blair
19 Jan 2003 02:01:39
e Nathan Blair
19 Jan 2003 02:01:35
Subject: Re: Hi Nate
That's all right, I'm not too much into fishing. But thanks for the offer.

From: "David Still" <>
> OH NATHAN!! YOU DO REMEMBER ME! i could cry... I'm sorry for ever doubting you. If you ever need me to hook you up **wink wink** just let me know...
Subject: Re: Hi Nate
You think I was telling the truth? Of course I know you, you and all your hoes. How could I forget? You rubbin it in my face about your pimpin crap you've been up to and all them french 80 year olds you've been in bed with,
and what about that g-string Mikey told me about? You never said anything to me about buyin no fancy underwear! What is your problem man? So yeah, I wouldn't give a crazed llama's eyelash whether we talked again or not! And.
and. I also lied about your mamma's brownies! They were stale. AND THE NUTS

From: "David Still" <>
> Hey Nathan. It's me David. Jessica told me you said you didn't know me.
I can't believe you would say something like that after all we've been through together. you know, maybe we just shouldn't talk anymore...
e Nathan Blair
19 Jan 2003 01:01:52
e Miranda
18 Jan 2003 18:01:48
Subject: real world

Brothers and Sisters...............


From: "David Still" <>
> ... And how I crave your touch, Miranda. Day and night do by without that little piece of humanity. If only I were not blind, deaf, mute and in a wheelchair, I could concer my stomach cancer and make it to you, somehow.
> Love,
> David.
Subject: Re: Reality
>Dear mute

Dear person,

>You were very surprised when I contacted you.

I'd be less surprised if I could remember it.

>You said you'd never met me.

I haven't. Unless you know something I don't - which is entirely likely, since I'm sure I know something you don't too.
Unless we have had identical experiences throughout our lives. Then me might both know everything the other does.

>But when you visited my website you recognized me -how I look, where I live.

Strange, since I have never been to De Realiteit. Still, if you saw where I live, I'm sure you'd recognise it too. It's that kind of place.

>It all seemed strangely familiar. Yet you continue to question my authenticity.

I can't question that. Only you can.

>Do you really think I'm just a 'character' created for the web?

Why not? Does it matter? Is subjective reality any different from objective reality? I'm sure you're as real as mute8 is. Does mute8 exist? The whole of the net may simply be a very large Turing test as far as I know.

>Just to show how real I am, let me remind you that I live in a neighbourhood called "De Realiteit" (Reality) in Almere, the Netherlands. That's where I live - in the flesh.

OK. I live in a dream-world of my own devising. I call it reality, for lack of a better description.

>So how could I have invented such a name?

And that name would be?

>When you get to know me better, you'll soon realise that I'm a part of your world, part of your own reality.

Of course you are - there are millions of people I've never met inhabiting my reality. So - what makes you worth knowing? Yes, you've intrigued me.
Anybody who sends an email this mad has got to be worth further investigation. OK - your move.

>And this is why you should trust me.

Trust, like respect, is earned. I will begin to trust you when dont's send your communications from anonymous mailers ;) Or would that require you to trust me first? We'll see.

e Mute8
18 Jan 2003 12:01:08
e Zoh Havoc
18 Jan 2003 06:01:34
Subject: Re: Thanks!



Subject: Re: Thanks!
Well, gee... who are you anyway???

I'm Richard Stallman, founder of the Free Software Movement, and considerably older than I was then. You thanked me for a helpful conversation, and I was hoping to find out when we met and what we
conversed about. (My memory doesn't work the way it did when I was younger.)

I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean any offense or any criticism.
e Richard Stallman
18 Jan 2003 01:01:41
e Tessa James
17 Jan 2003 15:01:53
Subject: Re: Reality

u know what, this is all too freaky. If u want to convince me that u are real, ull have to do better than act like a mental-institution-patient. Sooo.... until u change- take care.

17 Jan 2003 13:01:59
e Akram Zaatari
17 Jan 2003 10:01:43
Subject: Reality
hey david stop it!
I told you several times stop needing people. I need you too, and I don't say it. stop being dependent. stop being selfish. I love you, I care for you. You don't impress me necessarily. You are one of those, lost in the world. When you come to Beirut you will know.

From: David Still []

I need you NOW-
Tell me who I am!
Did I impress you?

Akram Zaatari wrote:
I do trust you David. you seem not trusting yourself. Have faith in your ability to impress people without reminding them of your reality.
When you need me you will find me next to you
Subject: Re: Reality: der toe jam conspiracy
Son of South Bronx, Benefactor of Brooklyn, Dunedan of the low-down PATH train wanderers, thief in the ever-pressing night.

But you're right, I could use a lesson or two in geography.

--- David Still <> wrote:
> The Netherlands, he! Holland! Van Gogh! Tulips! Not Norwegia, that's very very far...
> Do you live in an arab country M. Sheik?
e Sheik Yoboudi
17 Jan 2003 01:01:32
e Sheik Yoboudi
16 Jan 2003 21:01:32
Subject: Re: Reality: der toe jam conspiracy
Well riddle me this, cheesedick: How the fuck's a 'man' SUPPOSED to respond when some anonymous Norwegian sends him an email talkin crazy bout pinapples and bananas?
Dave, Dave, yo eloquence is slippin, pal.

--- David Still <> wrote:
> you named for condom called Sheik? u talk funny stuff and not real talk like man. maybe keep hands above sheets when sleeping
Subject: Re: Cursus
Geachte Heer,

Ik ben stomverbaasd om uw email met de vermelding van inschrijving te ontvangen.
Ten eerste, ik heb mij totaal niet ingeschreven en ten tweede vraag ik mij
af wie u mijn toestemming heeft gegeven om ? 500.00 van mijn rekening te gaan afhalen.
Van het moment dat dit gebeurd schakel ik onmiddellijk de politie in.
Met de meeste hoogachting,
Mieke Van Gheluwe

From: "David Still" <>
> Geachte mevrouw,
> We zijn heel blij met uw inschrijvingen voor de cursus kantklossen in oud zeeuwse patronen. Het lesgeld a ? 500,00 zal binnenkort van uw rekening
worden afgeschreven.
> De cursus word gegegeven in de kantklos stad bij uitstek; Brugge. U wordt verwacht op zaterdag 22 februari om 9:00 uur in het buurthuis "de Mossel", Adbijdreef, 14
> Vriendelijke groeten,
> David Still -lesgever
e Patrick Kegelaers
16 Jan 2003 20:01:24
e Akram Zaatari
16 Jan 2003 19:01:27
Subject: Reality
I do trust you David. you seem not trusting yourself. Have faith in your ability to impress people without reminding them of your reality.
When you need me you will find me next to you
Subject: RE: job offer
Dear David, whoever you are,

Why don't you give me an email address and we can talk?


Aaron Beebe
Byrd Hoffman Watermill Foundation
155 Wooster Street, Suite 4F
New York, NY 10012
e Aaron Beebe
16 Jan 2003 18:01:29
e Sheik Yoboudi
16 Jan 2003 18:01:17
Subject: market pressure: synopsis
For it's been said-

"I don't mind stealin bread
from the mouths of decadence--
but I'm goin' hungry"

--- David Still <> wrote:
> Roses wither and die in the wind
> >Children grow up and sob in the cold
> >Pinapples are prickly
> >bananas are not
> >you hurt and rejected me, like the pinapple,
> >they comforted me like the warmth of a banana
> >your prickles left sores all over my heart
> >their bananas left mush on my soul
> >so please remember that next time you pick up a fruit
> > That you hurt me and surely the banana is going to hurt you
Subject: market pressure
Aw, dang, and just when I was startin' te think I was a Peace to all Almonds kinda guy.

That's the thing, though. There's an innate pressure, when you enter the market, and pace the aisles with yer cart and yer list. The produce is a'watchin and a'waitin, and judgin' you in every hesitation, every pause, every glance, every sigh of delight or frustration--- though it seems it might be the other way round. When you momentarily stop, grasp and hold up, and check a bruise on a star fruit, or the wax on an apple, when you squeeze on a cantelope or garner any attention at all to any single on the shelf, the
eyes of all, the judgements fall, and the shopper's mystique is over, all known, all done, the legend of the shopper fails to satisfy anymore the leagues of produce in the stands. The shopper's human, just like
everybody else. The produce watches and judges and waits, the shopper can't win but to leave empty-carted, or to willingly forget produce-eyes and confidently go for she wants, and leave so brazenly self-aware as to escape haught, profound ego, and leave everybody impressed with her convictions.
e Sheik Yoboudi
16 Jan 2003 18:01:58
e Katy Buelens
16 Jan 2003 16:01:47
Subject: RE: ?
sorry, maar jou naam zegt me niets, vanwaar denk je dat we elkaar kennen???

Van: David Still []
euhmm, dacht dat jij op het werk continu online zat via email ?
Spijtig dat je geen contact meer wilt ...
als je je moest bedenken:

tot ooit ?

Subject: RE: Ontvankelijkheidsverklaring
e Mathie Neven
16 Jan 2003 16:01:08
e Joshua Shamblin
16 Jan 2003 15:01:42
Subject: Re: Reality
I can't be hurt, I can't be killed, so I guess that means the banana is shit outta luck and so are you.
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