Reply to David Still's email
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Subject: Re: job offer
hey david,
gosh you're right. Whatever will I do?
I am crushed.

But then harsh love was always your way david...
I know I'll be a better person in the end.

Thank you dave.

_____________________________________________
Thomson & Craighead/www.thomson-craighead.net
.............................................
Next up: gameon @Barbican, London & Touring
Late 2002: look out for www.dot-store.com
Late 2002: look out for,'Template Cinema'
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
e Jon Thomson
<j.thomson@ucl.ac.uk>
26 Mar 2002 10:03:31
     
e Rick

26 Mar 2002 09:03:39
Subject: Re: job offer


Does that mean I can have the job?

     
Subject: RE: job offer
Wait .............. don't go............
I'll do anything.......................
Just give me another chance .............
I can't take this rejection!
Lisa
e Lisa
<badorangetabby@yahoo.com>
26 Mar 2002 06:03:55
     
e renee barron
<spacefish7@hotmail.com>
26 Mar 2002 04:03:19
Subject: Re: job offer
Well now that you are calling me a potentail employee i am just going to have to set you staight. i'm flattered to say the least, even though you "David Still" have sent this to at least a hundred or so people though flattered you find it amusing to play this game of anomininity with me. I'll tell your superiors why I should NOT fill this most prestigious of
positions. My comunication in written and especially verbal skills are only understood by a select few. I have no interest in delegation especially in a managment position. I prefer to focus on my own creative thinking and work. The field of IT has only interested me as a tool to pursue my interests. Most importantly, i want to continue my endevours in the field of sensory story telling. Changing career paths now to follow one that I am uninterested in would lead to a sure path of failure therefore misery. Now, if you can convince me otherwise please do. Also i request that you indulge me with the dirt you picked up on me. By the way what do you know of my skills? Last: what do you "David Still" plan on stepping down to? another staircase i hope..

From: David Still [d.still@davidstill.org]
You certainly ask alot of questions for a potential employee. Lets keep it simple. You should only be asking questions like, cream or sugar. Ha ha. Sorry if that was rude sometimes my Terets kicks in. The position that I need to fill is an IT managerial slot, basically your job would entitle delegating important IT information to your subserviant co-workers, as well as handing much of the companies important TOP SECRET patents and production procedures. Due to these top secret requirements we ran a background check on you -all clean, although your files do mention some disturbing elements about your past. As for me I have recently stepped down as the CEO, I'm sure you have read this in the papers. Tell me more about yourself so that I can tell my new superiors why you should fill this most prestigious of positions.

Thanks you for your time,

D.Still
     
Subject: RE: job offer
I'm more into bestiality than information technology these days. Like at my current job, I get to have sex with dogs in between working with people and solving technical problems. Unless your organization can provide me with a technical challenge as well as necro-fetal-anal-bestial-buttsex, I cannot afford to leave my current position. Thanks for the offer though,

Scradam
e scradam
<scradam@downbreed.com>
26 Mar 2002 03:03:48
     
e AMERICAN DIVA
<divasaurusiii@yahoo.com>
26 Mar 2002 01:03:28
Subject: Re: job offer
David!
I am so surprised at the distant tone in your email.
My "communication skills"??? If this is referring to my blow jobs? Are you laughing at me, David? Am i some joke to you? I will NOT be ignored, Mr. David Still!! Mr. Suck me, Fuck me, then Leave me! Your "company is looking to expand, and is interested in developing its communications staff" yeah, right. Every man wants a harem, David, and you're no differnt. I thought you were different! I thought you really cared. Now this?

YOU GO TO HELL, DAVID STILL... YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!
     
Subject: Re: job offer
--- David Still <d.still@davidstill.org> wrote: >
$3.75 per hour.

well that proved it....u really can't afford
me.....make me another offer....monetary or
otherwise......
e n.gee
<beatzbun_e@yahoo.com>
26 Mar 2002 01:03:43
     
e Simon Glass
<kimmois@hotmail.com>
26 Mar 2002 00:03:57
Subject: Re: job offer
Lawks, that took me by surprise and no mistake. So, my favourite anonymous tormentor wants to become my saviour? Well, I'm going to change the habit of a lifetime and take a chance on relying on the kindness of strangers.

Yes, I'm interested. If nothing else I'll finally get to know who you are.
The next move is yours.

Simon
     
Subject: Re: job offer
CURRICULUM VITAE (optional at top of page)

NAME (no heading necessary)

ADDRESS and TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER (or addresses such as home, business, email) (no heading necessary when listing only one address)

Citizenship

Languages spoken, read, written (if relevant)

Certification or licence status with numbers and dates issued (if relevant)


EDUCATION

* Include all information on Bachelor, Master, Ph.D., postdoctoral or other relevant studies, in reverse chronological order, i.e., most recent first.
* Include degree awarded or anticipated, date, name of institution, location, discipline/school.
* Show areas of specialty by topic, with thesis/dissertation titles and advisors' names, and courses of special interest, if helpful.
* List a qualifying year for a program of studies as a separate entry, in the same format as your other degrees, e.g., Master of Arts (Qualifying Year), 199-.

ACADEMIC AND PROFESSIONAL INTERESTS

* Provide a brief summary of your interests and areas of expertise which could be called upon both inside and outside of your institution.
* List in point form, beginning with a general or broad spectrum and ending with the more specific areas. More details can be included in your letter.

EMPLOYMENT

* Describe your work experience relating to the job you are seeking, e.g., graduate research, internships, assistantships, teaching, field placements, consulting, administration, management in both the public and private sectors.
* Create separate sections to highlight details:
* teaching - class size, undergrad/graduate levels, course preparation, marking
* research - activities, grants and contracts, with the dollar value optional
* supervision - sole supervision of students or supervision committees to include dissertations and theses.
* Organize jobs in reverse chronological order within each section, i.e., most recent first. Include beginning and terminating dates, job title, name of company or organization, and location.
* Start points with action verbs; do not write in complete sentences or paragraphs. List accomplishments and tasks performed. Show your skills and abilities.

PROFESSIONAL AFFILIATIONS

* Include current memberships.
* Mention offices held, significant appointments, with dates.


AWARDS, SCHOLARSHIPS, FELLOWSHIPS, PRIZES, GRANTS

* Include both academic and professional.
* State name of honour, granting institution or agency, and date.
* Explain acronyms; the meaning of the recognition may not be clear, especially those awarded by other countries.


PUBLICATIONS
PRESENTATIONS
INVENTIONS/PATENTS

* Include all, most recent first, in correct bibliographic format so that the reader can check details. Include relevant information such as author(s), title, publisher, place of publication, name of periodical, volume, issue number, date, page(s).
* Show both independent and collaborative work (if applicable).
* Create separate sections with headings for a lengthy publications list, placing sections in appropriate order:
* authored or co-authored books, book chapters, monographs
* refereed, peer reviewed: journals, full papers or letters
* conference papers, abstracts or posters
* invited, non-refereed
* book reviews
* work in press, work submitted, work in preparation (use separate headings)
* creative writing outside of one's professional field (if relevant)
* other scholarship available for critical appraisal, e.g., buildings, plans, patents.

SERVICE

* University - department, faculty, and university responsibilities, including committee work
* Professional - referee or reviewing/editing functions for journals, granting agencies.
* Community Outreach - significant volunteer activities showing leadership or important service.

HOBBIES, INTERESTS, LEISURE ACTIVITIES, TRAVEL

* Show those with relevance to academic life (e.g., magician with expertise to use as a teaching tool), or, if you wish, include a broader range of activities, such as athletic, social, intellectual, cultural, if applicants in your field traditionally include this information. Travel to participate in conferences and symposia should be a separate heading.

REFERENCES

* Supply the name, address, telephone/fax number of 3 (or more) individuals who can comment on your fit to the institution where you are applying.
* Choose your referees wisely, i.e., persons who know you and your work well, referees with high external visibility.
* Be sure to ask their permission before submitting their names.
* Whenever you provide reference information to an institution, advise your referees that they may be getting a request and keep them up-to-date on your professional activities.
* Select individuals who collectively can speak well on your behalf from various perspectives: one may be able to give a general overview and others from the specific aspects required by the position.
* Of special interest will be your referees' comments about your unique experiences (from personal, academic, or work experience points of view, your strengths, and your weaknesses (with the extenuating circumstances explained).
* Tell your referees what particular topics they need to discuss so that their letters can be tailored to the positions you are seeking.
* If the advertisement requests that reference letters be sent immediately, provide sufficient information to your referees and tactfully follow up to ensure that the letters have been mailed well in time.
e jimpunk

25 Mar 2002 22:03:33
     
e Tom St Denis

25 Mar 2002 21:03:41
Subject: Re: Your book
> Tom,
> Thanks for your reply. Do let me know if you change your mind.

Will do.

> Can we not tempt you with the promise of large royalties?

To tell you the truth I still have a lot to learn before I can keep going. So if you want something of professional quality you would have to wait. For instance, if you pass my text in its current form by some mathematicians they'd probably have a good laugh.

Tom
     
Subject: Re: job offer

Mon dernier emploi, dans le secteur de (...) m'a permis de connaître très bien (...), ce qui pourrait se révéler très utile dans votre entrepriseS ».
En plus de mes compétences en (...), j'ai acquis la pratique de (...) qui sera précieuse pour (...) ».
D'autre part, chez (...), j'ai eu pendant deux ans la responsabilité de (...), je suis très (...) et je connais (...) ».
e jimpunk

25 Mar 2002 19:03:46
     
e Maria LaCreta

25 Mar 2002 19:03:19
Subject: 
every once in a while,
your words/images surface
through the waters of my mind,
and i miss you.

it's a sort of painful miss,
but lickity-split-quick comes a smile.

I hope you're well.

~me
     
Subject: RE: job offer
I am thanking you heartily for noticing communicative skills I posessing frequently. However, hardly a day goes out the door without first alerting me to the blessed state of my life at the job where I am doing. The challenges are very challenging, but the rewards are so much. Plus they let me take naps.

Thank you for your consideration.

Your friend,
Fred
e fred
<fred@leadtools.com>
25 Mar 2002 18:03:08
     
e giovanna genovese
<ggspooky@yahoo.com>
25 Mar 2002 18:03:00
Subject: Re: job offer
Dear David Still,

I don't know where did you find my e-mail address and how we got in touch, anyway I decided to write you back because I'm tired of my actual job.

I work in a Contemporary Art Gallery in Naples and Milan in Italy and I would like to know more about your offer so I will send you later my CV, but I'll be glad to know more before sending it to you.

Best Regards

Giovanna Genovese
     
Subject: RE: job offer

ok, a company car, 85-100,000 a year, 4 weeks paid vacation.

Jerry
e Jerry O'Leary
<joleary@ideo.com>
25 Mar 2002 18:03:56
     
e George

25 Mar 2002 18:03:33
Subject: [email] job offer

turn off the spam

From: David Still <d.still@davidstill.org>
> You seem to have a little stored up hostility there fella. Some unchecked aggression perhaps, from being abused as a child. Your ignorant threats mean nothing to me. There is nothing more pathetic than an internet "tough guy". Your insults and threats are only mildy amusing, and not even original. You sound more like a fourth grader who just found out what sex in general is. And the "dull" end of a bic pen? Is there really a sharp end to a bic pen?
You are a punk, and a seemingly unintelligent one at that. If you even have testicles, I am sure that you are exaggerating thier size. And that turkey baster if yours, I hope that you clean your shit off of it before you use it for anything else other than anal self gratification. You also seem to have some sort of preoccupation with semen, and a bit of a pyro to add to that as well. You know, they have special places for raving psychotics such as yourself. I especially like the "he'll be spewing flaming man-spew" that sentance right there is yet another indication of your intelligence. Just what is it thats wrong with you anyway. I hope, for the sake of humanity that you are single and have not fathered any children (that live with you anyway). And that you will soon be put out of our misery by a fast moving truck or train or something of that nature. We would all be better off without foul mouthed psychos like you in this world. How about that for a little spam, you needle dicked bug fucker?
     
Subject: RE: job offer
oh david, if only you were really offerring me a job and not just some neenster artist who is changing the world, one ip at a time.

i'll always cherish out times together, in venice.

tz
e Thomas Zermeno
<txzermen@TexasChildrensHospital.org>
25 Mar 2002 17:03:29
     
e Burton, Paul
<Paul.Burton@AIG.com>
25 Mar 2002 16:03:58
Subject: RE: job offer
I am very appreciative of your compliments,but i question the reason for your generosity.Our prior conversations have been everything but pleasant. I'm interested in conversating with you but very, very skeptical of your motives.Three thirty-five AM is a very odd time to be up discussing work related issues.
     
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Playing the hero?
dear david I think I would like to work with your staff... tell me what you want and I'll be yours !

you are my worst nightmare when you don't write me during several days.

sincerely,
Katia
e 

25 Mar 2002 16:03:03
     
e Banville, Martin
<mbanville@cinematheque.qc.ca>
25 Mar 2002 15:03:19
Subject: RE: job offer
Well, Mister Still, what about if I could handle this better than you?
Yes you have managed to trigger some secret crawling
interest... money... power... (I already can feel my nails growing.... I should be terrified at this point...)

But lets say, Mister Still that a "fascinating career move" can be as well appreciated as a relieving bowel movement, and for this very reason, I'll keep an eye on what you will propose to me next.

best regards
from montreal

Martin Banville
     
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