Reply to David Still's email
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Subject: RE: Is it Friday yet?
I only hope you have Kara's best interests in mind. It sounds like you do.

The only catch is that we were planning on a night at Sluggers after the game Saturday. Maybe we'll catch up with you at Hi-Tops.

> From: David Still []

> I really think you should blow off work and go shopping at
> H&M for the rest of the day. And you should take that girl
> who works around the corner from you. What's her name? Oh
> yeah, Kara. She's cool. Alright, well I'll see you and
> Simon on Saturday I guess. Are we still meeting at Hogs &
> Honeys? The first round of Michelob is on me!
e Duckett, Theresa
2 Dec 2003 21:12:01
e Floyd Hayes
2 Dec 2003 12:12:18
Subject: Re: the long way out
Hi David

That's nowt. Up until the age 0f 23 I actually believed radiators in gas central heating systems actually contained gas. It only came to light when my flatemate said we had a radiator leaking and I was alarmed that we'd be gas.

To this day he still never lets this go.

Floyd Hayes.
Creative Director
Causing Effect

Cunning Stunts Communications
24-28 Hatton Wall
London EC1N 8JH

0207 691 0077
To find out who, where and what we are visit

on 1/12/03 4:44 PM, David Still at wrote:

> the other day I met an old lady who had never seen a swan. Can you believe
> that. Never. She had no idea what one would look like apart from some
> concept of 'long necked whiteness'. Just goes to show you doesn't it.
> Cheers
> David.
Subject: Update
Dear David,

My sincerest apologies for not remembering ...Trust me, I realize daily I'm
getting older.
Prior to re-opening your file, I need some updated information. Please
provide the following information ASAP.

* Partner's Name
* Partner's Employer
* New Work Number
* Moved From
* Date of Your Relocation
* New Address and Telephone Information

Upon your submittal of the above items, your file can be retrieved from our

Many thanks,

Tai E. Jones
Employment Transition Consultant
214-219-7115, Ext. 185
800-224-7115, Ext. 185
Delivering a World of Customized Solutions
e Tai Jones
1 Dec 2003 16:12:36
29 Nov 2003 16:11:28
Subject: Everything I always wanted to know about myself...
> In the fullness of time, dear heart, you will come to love me and bear
> our love child.

When ?


Subject: RE: I can see you from here

Hello David. Long time, no see. Thankfully. Thought I was rid of you for good.

> ----------
> From: David Still[]
> Hello Jon. I can see you from here. I am DAVID. DAVID STILL!!!
e Jonathan Walmsley (I.T)
27 Nov 2003 09:11:14
e Tai Jones
26 Nov 2003 19:11:48
Subject: RE: I'm back

Sincerest apologies but I haven't a clue who you are... will need information on program dates and your spouse's name. I handle about 2,500 files annually so I'm sorry for not knowing... please advise.

Happy Thanksgiving!

-----Original Message-----
From: David Still
To: Tai
Subject: I'm back

Hi Tai,

I'm finally moved to Chicago! Please give me a call when you can.


Subject: RE: O'shea
thanks dave

From: David Still []

I just want to wish you a good flight. I hope you have fun. I will miss U.


e O'Shea, Nick
25 Nov 2003 21:11:14
e Helena Kent
24 Nov 2003 10:11:43
Subject: RE: The death fanged racoon
Your attention is drawn to the warning notice at the end of this message.

I have never heard of a raccoon called david still before.....

-----Original Message-----
From: David Still []
Sent: 23 November 2003 12:01
To: Helena Kent
Subject: The death fanged racoon

i am a hungry death fanged racoon, i am going to come to dulwich and eat you, oh yes i am. i know the faceless man has passed away but i am much more evil, than even IT the dancing clown that eats children, hahaahaaha
oh dear.

Free as freeware, human as you

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Subject: Re: Everything I always wanted to know about myself...

Dear David,

It's amazing how the simple word "no" can be so revealing !

23 Nov 2003 23:11:14
e Sheik Yoboudi
13 Nov 2003 22:11:31
Subject: Re: the one you're looking for
's it green? Supergreen.

Hands clutching the sundry bits, first and goal. Hut,

--- David Still <> wrote:
> Fret not, dear boy: with girls gone wrong, all is
> simple. Miss one bus there is always another on the
> way. The solitary life is not for you unless you
> eschew pretentious language and get your hands
> aboive the sheets and start talking real. And can
> the French shit. No one likes a frenchie any more,
> including frenchies....My best advice: grab yourself
> by the balls and head for the goal post!
Subject: Re: the one you're looking for
O Good Brother David:

Mon Frere, my compatriot, my mind in better self; the
search for sed love with A WOMAN is fraught with
adventure, riddled with ideosynchrisies, tumultuous
frailty, beautiful disasters. I'd already FOUND
love--- a deep-found well-sprung love with a woman, a
magnificent siren beauty, and it led to worlds of pain
and betrayal, disappointments of spirit, grandeous
disillusionments shattered, raw and bare. At its end
I wound up like a half-dead survivor of a shipwreck,
clinging, wrecked and broken, to the sands of some
greyed deserted beach, beaten to the point of
surrender, at ends to find cause to draw in each next

It's acne of the spirit now that pocks my ill
countenance, and love--- it's very self--- that
spurned the coarse disease. I'm taking leave of that
set of emotions; I'm not looking for anyone anymore,
and am pleased to be on my own--- and if not pleased,
then at very least, getting by. Other people, I'm
sure, would be most appreciative of your help, in
finding their Other, their Someone, in fostering their
hopes for love and companionship; help them that then
ask it, not they who've long abandoned it.

Yours in pensive solitude,

The Once and Future Sheik
e Sheik Yoboudi
13 Nov 2003 15:11:17
e Sheik Yoboudi
11 Nov 2003 13:11:51
Subject: Re: the one you're looking for
The person that I want.

You will help me find the person that I want.

This is a world of internet dating and over-drinking
in bars, where Eros wears a very twisted pair of
spectacles and Love--- love's on holiday in the South
Pacific and is sort of-- holding out-- til the whole
modern era blows over.

You will help me find the person that I want.

Or perhaps did I mis-read? Are you rather NOT
offering your services as a digital matchmaking
mench--- did I project into "the person that I want"
as a lover a bit too much from my own stumbling
tumbledrums of unresolved day-to-day tedia-- those
little things that show up as FiFi the Wonder Mutt or
a jetting fleet of intricately-carved Norse long-boats
in odd dreams by chance?

Are you-- rather-- offering to help me find Someone?
Like, the unnamed mysterious Prussian officer who sent
a careening lead balloon through my great-great
Grandfather's tibia, thus exiting him from the war and
into my great-great-Grandmother's caring bedside Red
Cross care? Or The Guy who stole my retainer in 3rd
grade? Or that kind and purty lady who unexpectedly
held the door of the N train as it was crashing closed
the other day, allowing me to make the train and get
to my meeting on time--- a meeting holding grave and
wonderful consequences for the jet-set juggernaut
HoustonWeHaveLiftoff future path of my career?

Who precisely are you offering to help me find---
perhaps more to the point, who is it I'm looking to
meet? Have to get back to y'on that one.
Subject: Re: the one you're looking for

Ok, go to and you shall find me there, now I need
help tracking down a friend from the past, any advice??

Thanks in advance
Conezy Mcfallen
11 Nov 2003 07:11:16
e eidola
10 Nov 2003 21:11:10
Subject: R: the one you're looking for
you are still ALIVE?!
well david, you should know me by now - there is no way to find me. And the one I am looking for ( am I looking for someone, isn't that enough, honey?)
if he is the one I am looking for - should go under the ivy under the leaves and there I am.
love, sweetie.
Subject: Re : the one you're looking for

Thanks David, now i really know who I am!


10 Nov 2003 09:11:56
e erich bertussi inc
9 Nov 2003 01:11:35
Subject: RE: the one you're looking for
Dave I am so glad you got back to me it's been so long.
Business is good and soon I shall be expanding to the other side of the
big lakes.
Perhaps you could moisten the soils in anticipation of my arrival!..

All the best dave..

Now is the time to fly!!

erich bertussi

Subject: Re: g-l-a-s-s
Oh my god.... I just shot Tony an email, no glass today. If you hear him scream its because of my e-mail. We have been waiting for the weather to clear. I am going to slit my wrists.

111 fourth avenue. ste. 8G
new york city . 10003
e michelle malouf
4 Nov 2003 20:11:53
e Afsana Ahmed
4 Nov 2003 19:11:26
Subject: Re: Hi Lt. Ahmed
Hello Mr. Still,

I must admit your email has taken me by surprise and I am very curious about who our mutual friend is. You have the advantage of knowing who I am but since I am quite in the dark, I don't know what would be of interest or relevance to write back about. I enjoyed reading your email and if you can share the identity of our mystery friend, I will have a better idea of which adventure in Alabama would be most exciting to you. :)

Afsana Ahmed

David Still <> wrote:
My name is David Still. I am certain that you've never heard of me, but we have a friend in common who has insisted that I write to you. Let me tell you a bit more about myself.

I am 32 yrs old, and a recent emigrant to Almere, Netherlands. I work as an IT Consultant for a small but expanding start-up business that specializes in communication systems. This I enjoy, as it gives me plenty of opportunities to meet new people. I also like where I live, with its clean air, well planned cycle paths and neighbourhoods, and the newness of it all. My home, where I live on my own is close to Noordenplassen (North Ponds), where I often go for a swim, as part of my new lifestyle, though I still continue some of the bad habits I had from my previous life.

When I was a young child, I lived in a large house owned by my grandparents (on my mother's side). They lived on the ground floor and I lived with my parents and my older brother on the two top floors. I loved spending time with my grandparents. My grandfather was a jazz musician and a classical violinist, and that is where my distinctive passion for jazz and classical music comes from.

I know a bit about you, Afsana, but I really don't know all that much. I would love to know more about your life and times in Alabama. Best regards,

David Still.
Subject: Re: alligator
Dear Sir,

You are a bit late David. The alligator has already been purchased. Not by
you or your friend. Thanks for your interest though. Good luck finding an
alligator for your purposes.



"I am a poor witness. Send money."

Work like you don't need money
love like you've never been hurt
and dance like no one's watching

From: David Still <>

Dear Sir,
My name is David Still. Recently a friend of mine
who has fallen upon hard times wrote an email from
my account to make an offer on your alligator. I am
writing this email to inform you that I would like
to make a slightly higher offer to buy your
alligator. I will offer you $200 more for
your alligator. I feel my apartment is missing that
last touch that only an alligator could bring. I
would feed him genously and love him very much.
Please reply to this email as quickly as possible. I
am hoping to finally push my friend over the edge
into a world of true agony, and I believe that purchasing this alligator
would finally do so. Thank
you very much.

David Still
e Jonathan McCarthy
3 Nov 2003 17:11:11
e angie mason
2 Nov 2003 19:11:07
Subject: Re: miss you

I'm sorry, I do not know you and I'm sure you do not know me. I'm in an exclusive relationship. So good luck on finding whoever your looking for.
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