Reality: der toe jam conspiracy
Sheik Yoboudi wrote: The last damn thing th't I trusted was, 'n'I tole' my cousin Jared at the time, too, I said, "Jared, you go a'walkin over that hunkerin pile of old wood, 'n'I trust you'll git a splinter 'n' a nail 'n'yer foot, 'n'you'll lose a damn toe." But, damn fool, kept on a'walkin', an whaddyaknow, quick as a lick, slipped on a slick fell flyin in slow motion backerds, landed straight on his rearside, went te stand up, an' stands straight up on a big ole rusty nail. Popped right on through his big toe, it did. Bout a week later, I'd be lyin if'n that big toe didn' just turn green 'n' fall right off, yessir. Fell right off, so'z Jared had te go git him his crutches over yonder from the back shed... 'N'off he goes, goes CLIMBIN on over that self-same woodpile te get inte the shed for the crutches, 'n' I say, "Jared, I trust y'er a'gunna git a splinter". So'z I know to trust my gumption, inteition, whatnot. As fer trustin' you, Mr. Dayvid Still, I dun care if'n yer from the Nether-lands or the other right side'a town. Trust's a valyble commo'ty these days, 'n I'z only trust a man I lost a toe wid, I reck'n.